My daughter offered to update or reformat my computer. Well, she will not be the one that will carry out the process. She actually knows nothing about it. It will be her husband, my son-in-law (future) who will perform the formatting. I’m happy with the offer.

They told me to back up all my files. That’s sounds difficult for me. Even though I am blogging for several months or even a year and have been reading a lot about backup and online backup, I haven’t had any experience doing that. However, I don’t want to ask them about that because that is too bothersome. But, if I take the risk I might put some important information in great jeopardy. Extracting and collecting lost data are even more burdensome than letting them do the backup thing.

Why would I feel this way? In the first place they are my kids. Yah, I let them do it. Hehehe

I enjoyed watching my favorite noon time show earlier this day. The show guest’s obese woman and most of them have no inhibitions in their body. All of them love who they are and their sizes. Well, I am one of them too. But, as of this time I no longer like my size due to health reasons. I already feel pain in my knees and ankles as I walk. So, before the problem gets worse, I must do something about it.

Unlike before, I am now conscious with the amount of food I am eating. But, going on diet is really difficult. It’s killing me to death. I want to slim down the natural way because I have bad reactions to pills and supplements. But, that doesn’t stop me from hunting the best slimming pills around the web. It is just difficult though because most of those stores I thought of buying doesn’t have international shipping. Even if that is the case, I now have reasons to become serious about trimming down my weight.

A lot of us really don’t like it when someone is angry at us. We don’t like it when people go into resistance to helping us when we need help, instead of caring about us. We don’t like it when people withdraw from us, disconnecting from us and shutting us out. We don’t like it when people make demands on us and do not respect our right or need to say no. Many of us will do almost anything to avoid the soul loneliness and pain we feel when people treat us in angry, resistant, demanding and uncaring ways.

It takes great courage to stay loving to ourselves and others when faced with others’ angry and closed behavior. It especially takes courage when the people we are dealing with are our own children. Yet unless we have the courage to come up against our children’s anger, resistance, and withdrawal, we will give ourselves up and not take care of ourselves to avoid their uncaring reactions. The more we deny our own truth and our own needs and feelings, the more our children will disrespect and discount us. Our children become a mirror of our own behavior, discounting us when we discount ourselves, disrespecting us when we disrespect ourselves. The more we give ourselves up to avoid our children’s unloving behavior toward us, the more we become objectified as the all-giving and loving parent who doesn’t need anything for ourselves. When we do this, we are role-modeling being a caretaker.

On the other hand, it is unloving to us and our children to expect our children to take responsibility for our well-being. It is unloving to demand that our children give themselves up to prove their love for us and to pacify our fears. It is unloving to demand that they be the way we want them to be rather than who they are. It is unloving to set limits just to make us feel safe, rather than limits that support their health and safety. When we behave in this way, we are role-modeling being a taker.

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