big & huggable » story of life

Study Shows Women are Addicted to Shopping

admin_bighuggable — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 06:45:08 +0000

Still there are many who believe that women’s compulsive need to buy something new is the stuff that myths are made of and that all so-called shopaholics wouldn’t have a problem to speak of if they only kept themselves in check. Still, the problem is widespread, even if it doesn’t manifest in all women in the same manner: a recent survey shows that half of the women in the UK can’t go through a single day without buying something new, the Daily Mail informs.

“The poll of 5,347 women revealed every week the average shopaholic will spend money they don’t actually have on a fast food lunch, chocolate, beauty products, nice shampoo, make up and accessories. More than half of those polled (53 per cent) admitted it didn’t matter what they bought, as long as they purchased something. A further 28 per cent forbid themselves from leaving the house when they wake up feeling particularly frivolous. And 15 per cent often confined themselves to the office on weekdays, refusing to take a lunch break so they weren’t tempted by shops or restaurants.” the Daily Mail says of the findings of the recent survey.

“I suspect many women reading about this will be able to relate to the findings. For many women, spending money is a bit of an adrenaline rush – it makes them feel good in the short term. It is alarming that in a recession when generally spending is down and the job market isn’t good, that some women still feel the urge to shop beyond their means.” Joanna Leah, general manager at the Ipswich Building Society, which conducted the study, says for the Mail.

Are You Spoiling Your Child?

admin_bighuggable — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 05:48:10 +0000

None of us want “spoiled” kids – kids who are bratty, self-centered, demanding, inconsiderate. So, what spoils children and what doesn’t?

When I was raising my children, I was often told that I would spoil them if I didn’t let them cry – if I held them a lot. Fortunately, I didn’t believe this nonsense.

You can’t spoil a child with love. Children need love as much as they need food and water. The problem is in defining “love.”

We are not giving love to our children when we give them everything they want on the material level. Parents often think they are loving their children when they pile them up with all the toys or activities they desire, but what is the actual result of indulging our children in this way?

There are three big negative consequence of “spoiling” our children on the material level:

It fosters addictive behavior – filling up from the outside with things and activities rather than filling up from the inside through caring and creativity. Too many adults are addicted to spending or other activities to fill up their emptiness. If they are stressed, instead of dealing with the source of their stress – which is generally some way they are not taking care of themselves – they cover their feelings with some addictive behavior such as spending, TV, food, alcohol, and so on. When we offer our children too many toys, too many activities, too much comfort food, or allow too much TV, we are not loving them. We are training them to be addicted.
Often parents provide things and activities for their children while denying their own needs. It’s not loving to children to give in to their every demand, especially if it means putting yourself aside. When you constantly give in to your children and deny your own needs, children learn that it’s okay to disregard others needs and be demanding brats. Children may not learn to consider others if you do not expect them to consider you by considering yourself. They will learn to treat you the way you treat yourself, so it is not loving to your children to disregard yourself. When you disrespect yourself, you teach your children to be disrespectful.
One of the big issues in our society is that children learn to identify their self-worth with others’ approval for how they look, how many toys they have, how expensive their clothes are. Unless parents show their children that they value them for their inner qualities – their caring, creativity, compassion, laughter, joy, passion for life – rather than for their looks, possessions and performance, children learn to attach their self-worth to others approval. True self-worth comes from inside, from knowing we are valuable for who we are, not for how we look or what we do. Unfortunately, our materialistic society fosters attaching self-worth and lovability to others’ approval for things such as a car or a house or clothes. When we “spoil” our children with material possessions, we foster co-dependency, which is dependency on others’ approval for our sense of worth.

We can spoil our children with material things, but we can’t spoil them with love. Love is the energy of acceptance for who the child really is. Love is understanding, compassion, caring. You are loving your children when you spend time just being with them, hanging out with them, being fully present with them, really listening to them. The greatest gift you can give to your children is to value them for who they really are on the inside. This is love, and nothing material can ever replace it.

sense of self-fulfillment

admin_bighuggable — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 02:41:09 +0000

Honestly speaking, I wasn’t able to finish a college degree because of financial matters. I’m actually a scholar at one university in town. Yet, I still wasn’t able to get a degree.

In the middle of my college life bad things start to pile up that I could no longer bear the thought of it. The only person who makes me feel life is beautiful is my husband. We are both in college at that time. So, we decided to live together to make each other a shoulder to cry on.

Don’t get me wrong, he is not the reason I stopped schooling. I did stop because it was the perfect choice at that time. I think if I did continue schooling, I will end up in the being super miserable today. It’s actually the perfect choice I made because I have a loving and happy family today.

The only drawback of my decision is the fact that I can’t get an office job. But, that is no longer an issue because I’m a plain housewife ever since I got married. However, there is still a part of me that wants to achieve something. That sense of achievement can only be satisfied if I can finish a college degree. I’m not after getting a career or the earning potential because that would not be a sensible mindset. For my age, it is no longer the thing I am thinking. I’m only after the sense of self-fulfillment.

Anyway, with my daughter’s permission, I’m now ready to finish something for myself. Currently, I am checking at several research college degrees at CollegeDegreesToday. Their goal is to provide a comprehensive guide for finding the right accredited college or university. All of their education partners have been carefully selected from the top online and campus based schools across the nation. They offer you the ability to search by degree level, degree program, online school, campus based school, or vocational program. Hmmm, vocational program would be nice too.

Mother’s Love is Beyond Victories

admin_bighuggable — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 15:43:18 +0000

It has been said that a Mothers touch is different. It seems Dad always says, “Go ask your mother”. One thing about being a mother, the touch of love, joy, protection, and care comes naturally. These are just a few attributes a mothers touch produce. When your child is sick or not feeling well – who does he call? Mothers! Dad could be sitting right next to your child. But nothing is like a Mothers Touch! When you find out you are going to be a mother, you change physically and emotionally. Preparing for this new role is challenging, most of all it can be rewarding for you and your children. Along with the touch of a mother, we must also make plans to meet our children needs – financially, spiritually and emotionally. God’s Word has given us clear instruction for training our child. Proverbs 22:

Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. That touch of instruction carries great rewards, however motherhood is not easy! We can’t give up on any little obstacle: We must be determined to be the best mother we can. We can’t let challenges in life consume us. Find time to relax, read, enjoy a brisk walk, a soothing bath to keep your mind from the hustle, you encounter in life. As you continue to apply the Word of God to your life, you will find your mind renewed, and you will achieve victories!

Once you become a mother, it is imperative to be there for your children. It is a must! Setting a career aside for the first five years of your child’s life can give him/her the best start in life. Remember that a Mothers Touch is like no other. One thing I know we all will agree on is time can never be replaced; money can always be earned. Many things we make commitments to are just other ways to fill a void in our life. Applying the principles and teachings from the Word of God gives clear instructions and directions to help us be the best mothers can. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts I think towards you says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

We can’t make excuses for our children’s improper behavior. Granted there are some strong willed children who need to be dealt with according to the Word of God. Our children will at times bring disappointments and even rebellion, but one thing I’ve learned was not to dwell on the problem, but to concentrate on the Word and prayer. Also seeking counsel from friends whose children reflect their child rearing is a big plus. There are much in our children we need to bring out to see dreams and goals come to fruition.

Excellent phone service

admin_bighuggable — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 14:07:00 +0000

At present communication shorten distance among family, friends, and other relationship. Through computer via internet and cellphones you can reach your family in seconds. Distances don’t matter at all as long as you have these modern gadgets. You can talk to your relative in person trough webcam. These gadgets draw the relationship closer.

I am speaking base on my experienced. Eldest daughter went to Manila last year in search for job abroad. This is the first time that she was separated from us. I could have been worried if not seeing her in the net, or hear her voice on the phone. Through cellphone which is more convenient and easiest way to be connected.

Cellphones which is common communication also gives me the joy of talking to my mother who lives in the province. The gadgets made me to check my mother frequently. I’m thankful that these gadgets were invented and I should have mentioned the phone service provider here in the Philippines. I want to give credit to them because their services are excellent. But according to my neighbor who go to United States often and lately decided to go there for permanent residency. She recommends Spectrotel phone service provider as the best in the United States. According to her this is high-quality, high value local and long distance phone services in the country. The reputation of Spectrotel as a full telecommunication service provider is premier. These were subscribers’ feedback.

A Tree to fresh air

admin_bighuggable — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 11:17:00 +0000

Leaving in the city is quite fast-pacing compare to the life in the rural areas. But it is rewarding too because you don’t have to walk miles away anytime of the day, since all kinds of transportation are accessible near or far destination. These amenities that city life gives not only comfort but also polluted air that we breathe. Heap piles of garbage from the dense populated city do contribute as pollutants. Factories have this kind of hazardous smoke that completes the list of pollutant contributor.

Davao city is not that worst yet because the city has thorough study on city zoning plan. Except for the vehicular smoke which cannot be prevented, factories here are located in a place with exact buffer zone not to disturb residence of nearby subdivision. We also had a proper garbage disposal, all garbage here are collected daily and brought to the smoky mountain in very far flung areas to avoid flies swarming. If you happen to visit any residential area here you can see two or more trees planted in the yard. Trees can help purify air. What you can see in EcoQuest international fresh air brochure, you can see in Davao city too. It’s a matter of good governance to come up with this kind of atmosphere.

Mek Tribe

admin_bighuggable — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 06:27:00 +0000

This morning I have my time spared for watching television. I was resting as well, because I had bad back pain which I really had to take some break. I am hook on the show at cable channel, like national geographic, travel and living, discovery channel and many more. This morning discovery channel had their documentary film: which was all about the native living in the rainforest of West Papua New Guinea. I had my fascination watching those films, though it has nothing to do with what I am doing in life. My children teased me often times that I was a Kombai (one of the tribe in the rain forest of Papua New Guinea). I don’t know sometimes, it made me think they were just fixated character but not at all, they were genuine people in flesh and blood.

This morning was all about the Mek tribe. These people wore nothing except the adult male have their pennies’ inserted in koteka gourd that the flesh was extracted after it is grilled. The women have grass netting made into like a skirt. These people were real survivor. They farm and eat sweet potatoes. They sometimes hunt unto the forest, where the only catch they had is a small lizard. But the first time I saw them on television their houses were still build up on the highest tree they had. Today houses are built in land.

Mark and Olly who filmed their lives were there a year ago. That time these people had no farm at all. When they had their merry making they simply chopped down tree they called sago, extracting the flour which according to Mark and Olly: it has the most disgusting taste, it is very dry too, and that it is almost impossible to swallow. They also let the trunk to rotten and collect all the beetle larvae inside the trunk for the merry making.

Though this time around, their lives are a lot better, thanks the two American gentle men who at least give them maybe some hints on planting and harvesting their own food. Now they plant potatoes already. They have chicken and pigs also.

They marry and have children and their children just grow up with out the comfort of warm blanket. I can see children begging alms in the place I live, it hurts I can utter in silence that God is not fair. Now it hurts that these Mek tribe didn’t even know money and clothes. They also had a small knowledge on producing their own crops. No wonder they have a very low life expectancy. The oldest among them is forty seven. I wish that they also can have their way to civilization so their lives will improve more.

breastfeeding is not easy

admin_bighuggable — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:18:00 +0000

I was 11 years old when I have my first suitor. He was at my age too, but I wonder how this boy know about courting when at that time, my younger sister and me were just being good on playing a sarisari store owner and costumer using flowers and fruit as our goods. I hate rohing for doing so, because he has black and decaying teeth.

When my mom learned about rohing. She stopped me from going anywhere where I can possibly meet the boy.One time when our barrio held the fiesta celebration. I insisted to go that my mom firmly say no.When asked her why, she said it’s not easy to breastfeed a baby. I never won on mother’s will, so I stay in the house while my brother and sister went and watched the program. I felt bad missing the only entertainment we can enjoy.

After a year we learned that rohing got married to a girl who was twelve years old. They lived together because they can’t have their license. During those days I feel relieve because I’m free with the teasing that my sibling do to me.

At twenty I got married and have my first baby at twenty three. I really forgot rohing already but when I visit my sister’s house he and his wife was then a visitor of my sister too. My sister then introduce me to her visitors. While I am breastfeeding my first born, rohing’s wife was breastfeeding her eight child. Normally when the baby suck on your breast the other breast will also release milk. But in the case of rohing’s wife it did not where as my breast is like a fountain. Then she started talking to me;good for you you have so much milk for your baby, yes I have because I always take much liquid, so I can have more milk everyday. As I look at her she can’t have much milk because she was so thin and weak. The couple were hard up.

Then I remember why, mother told me that breastfeeding is not easy, when I find it the easiest thing I’ve done in my entire work as a wife and a mother. My mother just told me those things because she could not yet explain to me directly what really are the obligations to become a parents. Yes my mother was right because when rohing courted me I realized it was not a boyish thing. His brain grew ten years older than his body. Though my mom lied to me, I appreciate and love her so much for being responsible. She just wants us to grow, to mature before we will go into a relationship that might lead to building a family of our own.

Days of My Life

admin_bighuggable — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 09:19:00 +0000

My hectic time begins on Monday all of my family will be going out. My husband ,eldest daughter and a brother next to her will be going to work.My third child, fourth and the fifth will be going to school.This activity keeps going up to Friday. I’ll be left alone in the house with all the chores to finish. This is my world for 27 years. I to see to it that everything will be fine as they come home.Routienenirary and tiring too because I am not a robot. I am plastic if I say I have no regret at all but at the end of the day , I can say I have chosen the best career in the world.And thats being the full time mother to my five children.To me no amount of success in the field of commerce can ever compensate my reward.I am very proud that we have raised our children to become a responsible individual.Thus our two children have finish their college degree and got a descent job while three of them are still schooling.This things made me happy and very proud.I know i don’t earn a penny to augment the income of my husband but the biggest contribution I’ve made is the fact that my children is on the right track.All of these will not change as long as i live, maybe something might be edit as my youngest finish his school.Tiring but rewarding, in my second life I still have to choose my old career…. Thanks for reading my blog.